Tuesday, May 5, 2009

According To Their Deeds by Paul Robertson



According To Their Deeds



Bethany House (March 1, 2009)





Monday





Morning


Only one chair was empty.

"Sixteen thousand. Do I see seventeen?"

Charles slipped into the open seat. He paged through the catalog.

"The bid is seventeen. Do I see eighteen? Thank you, eighteen thousand dollars. Nineteen?"

A man beside him, in thick black-rimmed glasses, leaned over.

"I figured you'd show up."

"Which lot are we on?" Charles asked.

"Number sixty. The desk."

"Derek's desk."

"Nineteen, thank you. Twenty?"

"You knew him, right?" the man said.

"Yes."

"Twenty. The bid is twenty thousand dollars. Do I see twenty-one?"

Gold sconces on the pale blue walls pooled light on the white ceiling, and gold and crystal chandeliers showered light down on the fifty dark blue upholstered chairs. The carpet was even darker blue and very thick, a deep river, soaking up every sound but the auctioneer's voice.

The crowd was darkly upholstered as well.

"Do I see twenty-two?"

A wide young man in the front row lifted a wood paddle.

"Twenty-two, thank you. Do I see twenty-three?"

He did, somewhere else in the room.

"Everything's going high," the man in the glasses said. "Too many out-of-towners. I just wanted to buy back what I sold the guy, but I haven't won a bid yet."

"Who's bidding right now, Norman?" Charles asked.

"That guy with the frizzy hair, he looks like Einstein? He's from a big New York showroom. And up front, in the brown suit, he's from Houston. And that guy's from L.A. Everybody else has dropped out."

"The bid is twenty-eight thousand. Do I see twenty-nine?"

"Like I said, it's all going high," Norman said.

"It's a nice desk."

"Oh, yeah. Everything's real nice, all of it. The guy had great taste. Too bad he's gone, he was a great customer. But that desk, I'd have said twenty-six, twenty-eight for it, and we're blowing through thirty without a hiccup. But I don't do furniture, so what do I know."

Every sound of conversation sank into the carpet's downward pull. Wooden paddles rose and fell, or waved like water lilies on bottomless currents.

"I'm glad there was an empty seat," Charles said. A dozen people were standing at the back wall.

"A guy I knew was sitting there a minute ago."

"Oh—is it his chair?"

"No, I think he left."

"Thirty-four. Do I see thirty-five? The bid is now thirty-four thousand. Any bid?"

There seemed not to be. Mr. Einstein from New York, with his wild white hair and black mustache, had bid last and now stared straight and smugly forward.

"Thirty-four thousand. Going once, twice—" The auctioneer's eyes darted, reacting to some new movement deep in the room. "Thirty-five, thank you. The bid is now thirty-five thousand. Do I see thirty-six?"

Heads turned and searched, but Mr. Einstein himself hardly reacted to this new unknown. He only raised his own paddle.

"Thirty-six. Do I see thirty-seven?"

He did, and everyone else did as well. A woman in a light gray suit and very improbable blond hair, standing against the back wall. She held her paddle out like a sword.

"Thirty-eight?"

Charles paged through his catalog. Lot Sixty, Cherry Pedestal Desk, Philadelphia, 1876. Other people were flipping pages as well.

"Not much of a description," Norman said. "Is there something special?"

"It's historic. Derek was proud of it."

"Oh, wait, that's where they found him, right? On top of it?"

Charles didn't answer. The bidding advanced, a conflict of deliberate and formal violence.

"Because that could be worth a premium," Norman said. "They'd clean it up, right? They wouldn't sell it with blood all over it. But you've got to be careful cleaning those old finishes. You can take them right off. I think it was a lot of blood, too."

"Do I see fifty? Fifty, thank you. Fifty-two?"

The formal quiet and the auctioneer's drone stretched a placid surface across the room. All that could be seen was slow and purposeful, apparently calm. But a tension was growing between the two bidders, like monsters beneath the surface sensing each other and edging into battle.

"Fifty-two. Do I see fifty-four?"

He did immediately.

"Fifty-four. The bid is fifty-four thousand dollars. Do I see fifty-six?"

"Fifty-six. Do I see fifty-eight?"

"Somebody's going to hit their limit," Norman said. "Fifty-eight grand! That's twice what it's worth."

"Do I see sixty?"

The blond woman's impudence was finally getting to the man from New York. He waved his paddle defiantly. It was, in the depths, a first ripping by sharp teeth; anger had been provoked.

"Thank you. The bid is sixty thousand. Do I see sixty-five? Sixty-five, thank you."

"Do you know who she is?" Charles said.

"I've never seen her."

"Sev-en-ty-five." Mr. Einstein had spoken it aloud, each syllable a separate word.

"Seventy-five. Do I see eighty?"

The woman's paddle jerked.

"Eighty. The bid is eighty thousand. Do I see eighty-five?"

"One hun-dred," Einstein said. The room gasped, every person, at the three distinct syllables.

"One hundred thousand dollars. Do I see one hundred five?"

Without hesitation, the woman thrust her paddle straight up, and through.

The man set his paddle under his chair.

It was over, suddenly. A leviathan had been vanquished and now sank away into ultimate deeps.

"One hundred five thousand. Do I see one hundred ten?"

"Not likely," Norman said. He would have been too loud, but the carpet sucked his voice right out of the air. "A hundred five, that had to hurt."

The victor had wounds to nurse, but the battle was past.

"One hundred five. Any other bid? Going once, twice." A pause. "Sold. Lot sixty sold for one hundred five thousand dollars. Next will be lot sixtyone, a Tiffany lamp. Bidding will open at fifteen hundred. Do I see fifteen hundred?"

"What was that?" Norman said. "Fifty was way over the line! A hundred grand? Now that was crazy!"

Ripples of conversation troubled the surface but that was all; the deeps were now still.

"There must be a reason," Charles murmured. The room was filled with murmuring.

"I'd like to know what reason. Twenty-five thousand for the desk and eighty thousand for the reason."

"Thirty-two hundred. Any other bid? Going once, twice, sold. Lot sixty-one for three thousand two hundred dollars. Next will be lot sixty-two, a marble table. Bidding will open at three thousand. Do I see three thousand?"

"So we're back to normal," Norman said. "Thirty-two hundred's high, but just a little. I guess when people fly in from up northeast and from the coast, they don't want to go home empty-handed."

"It's a large collection," Charles said. "It would pull people in from all over."

"I wish they'd stayed back where they came from. But if it's even just the dealers he bought stuff from, it could be this many people. The guy bought all over the place. All I wanted to do was buy back the stuff I sold him."

"Yes. I think you mentioned that."

"But it's all going too high. I'm not going to spend more on a lamp than I can sell it for. At least that blond lady is gone."

She was.

"I do wonder who she was," Charles said.

"Just as long as she's not here to bid on anything I want. Not that I'm getting anything anyway. A hundred grand for a desk! It's crazy."

"I wonder what Derek would have thought," Charles said.

Norman pointed at the next catalog page. "I bet that's the lot you're after."

"Yes."

"Number sixty-four. You got here just in time."

"Going once, twice, sold. Lot sixty-two for five thousand six hundred dollars. Next will be lot sixty-three, two Windsor chairs. Bidding will open at five thousand. Do I see five thousand?"

"Those are nice," Norman said. "I don't do furniture, but those are nice. From Vermont, 1920, all handmade. The real things. It must have taken a long time to pull all this stuff together."

"A lifetime."

"And poof, here it's all gone in three hours. Kind of funny, you know?"

The auctioneer's voice stabbed the air, slicing and cutting, on and on, relentlessly.

"And his wife doesn't want it." Norman said. "It's her selling it off, right?"

"I believe so."

"She's making a bundle. Especially after that desk! I wonder if she knew he was worth so much? His stuff, anyway. Did you get the list?"

"The catalog?" Charles asked, with it in his hand. "This?"

"No, the list from the police."

"I don't know of any list from the police."

"It's the stuff that got stolen, you know, that night he got killed."

"Any other bid? Going once, twice, sold. Lot sixty-three for thirteen thousand dollars."

"They want dealers to be looking for it," Norman said.

"No, I didn't get that list."

"Next will be lot sixty-four, a set of thirteen antique books. Bidding will open at ten thousand. Do I see ten thousand?"

"This is you, right?"

Charles nodded.

"Good luck," Norman said.

"Thanks."

"I guess no books got stolen."

"Ten thousand, thank you. Do I see eleven?"

Norman kept talking. "So that's why they didn't give you the list. Police and FBI, too. They're all looking."

Charles had his own paddle in his lap. He watched the bids increase.

"How much will it go for?" Norman said.

"Twenty-three, twenty-four for the set, maybe twenty-five."

"Remember, it's all going high. You sold them all to him in the first place?"

"Fifteen thousand. Do I see sixteen? Thank you, sixteen thousand."

"Yes. A book at a time, over the last six years."

Charles leaned forward, watching the different bidders.

"Do you know everyone bidding?" Norman said.

"So far."

"From around here?"

"No. Briary Roberts in New York. Jacob Leatherman himself from San Francisco."

"The old guy?"

"Yes."

"Did you know he was coming?"

"We had dinner last night."

His eyes were on the contest. The other bidders took turns, pushing the price up.

"Twenty thousand. Do I see twenty-one?"

Charles lifted his paddle. Now he was joined in the battle himself.

"Twenty-one thousand." For a moment, he owned the bid. "Do I see twenty-two?" And then he did not. "Twenty-two, thank you. Do I see twenty-three?"

Suddenly the bidding intensified with quick jabs from Jacob Leatherman, and then New York again.

"Twenty-five? Thank you. Do I see twenty-six?"

Jacob Leatherman's paddle quivered in the air.

"Twenty-six. Do I see twenty-seven?"

Charles signaled, quickly.

"Twenty-seven thousand. Do I see twenty-eight?"

Jacob was frowning from across the room, but his paddle was on the floor.

"Any other bid? The bid is twenty-seven thousand. Going once, twice, sold. Lot sixty-four sold for twenty-seven thousand dollars."

"But I thought you said it was only worth twenty-four," Norman said.

"Sentiment."

"Next will be lot sixty-five, a wood inlay chess set. Bidding will open at two thousand dollars."

"I don't do books," Norman said, "so what do I know. Oh, I sold this chess set. I'm just trying to get back what I sold him."

Charles stood and took a deep breath and moved toward the door.

*

Charles stepped out from the building into very bright sunlight.

It took a moment to adjust.

Traffic was heavy. On the sidewalk, a dozen people were scattered over the length of the block. The gray stone and mirrored windows of the office building across the street were very bright.

A cardboard box was in front of him, tight in both hands.

He turned south toward Pennsylvania Avenue, three blocks away. The faces he passed were stern and silent against the world, or talking on cell phones, alive, animated, in other worlds. Charles stopped at the first corner.

He was being followed.

Across the street a young man had stayed even with him. He was in torn jeans and a hooded sweatshirt, and he had stopped on his opposite corner. A well-dressed woman, passing him, instinctively drew back, and hurried past.

Charles waited.

Abruptly the man sprang from the curb and sprinted, dodging cars. His eyes were on the box in Charles's hands. A car squealed but the young man, lithe and quick, was already across.

Charles waited. The predator came to a halt, inches away.

"Hey, boss," he said, in a low voice.

"Don't cause a wreck, Angelo."

He shrugged. "You got that?"

"Twenty-seven thousand."

"For a little box." His accent was urban Hispanic and so were his black hair and shadowy face.

"You take it," Charles said.

"Back to the shop?"

Charles handed him the box.

"Take it to the shop. I'll be right there."

"Okay, boss, I'll take it, it's not any problem."

"Be careful."

"You are worrying for me, boss, or you are worrying for that box?"

"The box isn't going to do anything foolish."

Angelo smiled, a tiger showing its teeth. "I am smarter than that little box."

"Try to be."

With no other words he turned away, only walking but very quickly. Charles continued on his own way to a Metro station, and descended into the ground.

*

"King Street. Next stop Eisenhower Avenue." The doors whirred and Charles was on the platform, looking out at the streets of Alexandria. The escalator took him down to them.

The pocket around the station was in giant twelve-story scale, of offices and plazas, tied to the rest of the city only by it being brick. Beyond, though, a few blocks of King Street brought Charles to the three-story scale of real west Alexandria, authentic and shabby from a century of pawn and secondhand existence, now getting better but still not good.

Then another five blocks east and the buildings were solid and many were very good, and rents were high and the shop windows cleaner and the doors were appealing instead of simply peeling.

Charles crossed noisy Washington Street and into the heart of crowds and crowds. At Market Square he turned right into quiet streets, then one more block, and finally up two steps, and into a place that was very, very quiet.

*

The first impression was always the quiet. It was the special calm silence of books aging, books that were very practiced at aging.

"Hello, Alice."

"Good afternoon, Mr. Beale." Alice had a way of speaking that did not disturb the silence. "Mrs. Beale was just asking if I'd seen you."

The second impression was the quiet of color. Only the part of any color that could last decades was left in the room. Even loud colors were quiet.

"Is she upstairs?" he asked.

"Yes, sir."

Then the smell, which was faintest, half like a forest and half like old linen, but sharp.

"And have you seen Angelo?" he asked.

"No, sir." Her dress was the russet of a bright red cover faded over forty years.

"I didn't think he'd be back yet." The counter stretched across the right side of the room and stairs went up the left side, and a rail ran across the back.

"And have we sold anything?"

"A 1940 Gone With the Wind."

"I can empathize with Scarlet," he said. "I feel like I've just come from the burning of Atlanta."

He opened the gate in the middle of the rail and climbed the steps.

*

"There you are."

Her voice was quicksilver and light and everything peaceful.

"Here I am," Charles said. "Dorothy, it was worse than I'd expected."

"I'm sorry." Her hair was slow silver, short and easy, and lovely. "Were you there long?"

"Twenty minutes. But I sat beside Norman Highberg."

"Oh, dear." She smiled, which was the moon at its brightest. "Did you get the books?"

"Yes, for twenty-seven. I had to outbid Jacob Leatherman just at the end. Oh, he scowled!"

"He'll get over it, and you will, too. I'm glad you got them. It helps to close the circle with Derek."

"It does help. And I have to tell you about Derek's desk." His own desk was at the front window, and he sat and pushed aside newspapers and magazines and catalogs to make space for an elbow.

"I suppose there was something special about it?" Anything would be special if she only spoke its name.

"Everything he had was special. But this was more than just ordinary special."

"It was auctioned today?"

"Yes, and sensationally." Now that he was sitting, he stretched his back, and put his hands behind his head. "I came in right in the middle of it. It should have gone twenty-five thousand, and it was about to go for thirty-four, and whoosh, two people bid it right up to a hundred and five thousand. There was a riot."

"A very calm one, I'm sure."

"People actually turned in their chairs and looked around. It was that drastic."

Her blue eyes widened in her own calm amazement. "Why would it sell for so much?"

"It's a complete mystery." He stared out the window at the street. "Poof."

"What?"

"A lifetime. Three hours and it's gone."

"Selling off all his things?"

"His world. Everything he was, all scattered." With his hands behind his head, the space on his desk he'd cleared for his elbow was empty now, abandoned.

"Life is more than what you own," Dorothy said. Her own desk was perfectly ordered, with a computer screen, a neat pile of papers, and two photographs. She put her elbows on the empty middle and looked at him.

"Oh, I know," Charles said. "But that's what's left at the end."

"He was an important person, wasn't he?"

"He was a bureaucrat in the Justice Department. Yes, he was important." He glanced at the newspaper. The first page was rancor in Congress, and the president refusing to cooperate, and officials denying any wrongdoing. "What would the Post print if there were no scandals?"

"Hollywood divorces, like everyone else."

"I guess that would be worse. Every story on the front page is about someone's failing."

The sun was overhead, in the west, full on the townhouses across the street. The shadow of his own building was creeping toward them.

He read a paragraph. "This poor man," he said. "A highly respected federal judge. Ten years on the bench. Then it comes out that he cheated on his exams back in law school. Over thirty years ago! First he was forced to resign, and now he's being disbarred."

"It does seem severe."

"There is more to life than what you own. There's also what you've done wrong."

"And what you've done right. Charles, you're getting moody. Did you bring the books home?"

"Angelo has them, speaking of lives lived questionably."

"I didn't know you took him." The two pictures on her desk were of Charles and of a teenage boy.

"I just decided at the last minute."

"Was he dressed all right?"

"No, he was not. There wasn't time. He wouldn't have come inside anyway."

"We have a delivery for him to make this afternoon in Arlington. And I was thinking we should get him a suit for his next probation review."

"His regular business clothes are fine." He dropped the newspaper into the wastebasket. "Felons in suits annoy me."

"Besides Angelo, how many felons do you know?"

"Aren't we all?"

"Mr. Beale?" Alice had come up the steps. "Mr. Leatherman is here to see you."

"Take a deep breath," Dorothy said.

Charles did.

*

"Jacob!" Charles said from the stairs. "Welcome!"

"What did you do that for?" It would have been a growl, but from such a small and fragile man it was a yip.

Charles reached the floor, smiling all the way. "Let me get you a chair." He swept through the gate and came to rest at his guest. "I'd invite you to the office but it's up all those stairs."

"I don't need a chair."

"I'm glad you could stop in. I was sorry you couldn't after dinner last night."

"I have time before my flight and I don't like sitting in airports. I told the taxi to bring me here."

"I'm so glad," Charles said.

Jacob smacked the floor with his walking stick. "You're glad? You're gloating, that's what it is, for outbidding me. What did you do that for?"

"You could have bid higher if you wanted them, Jacob."

"That's all they're worth. Now I'm going back without anything."

"I'm sorry your trip was a waste. I'll sell them to you, if you want."

"How much?"

"Thirty."

"Thirty?" He smacked the floor again. "They're not worth that. I'd have bid thirty if they were."

"Then I guess I'll keep them."

"I didn't come to have you gloat. I'll give you twenty-three." Smack.

"Thirty-five. And you're perfectly Dickensian when you do that."

"Bah, humbug then. Dickensian?" He rubbed his nose. "I like that. And you said thirty."

"You should have taken it while you could."

"Whippersnapper! Mocking an old man! You'll give me apoplexy, and I have all those airport lines to go through yet. You'll send me to an early grave."

"That's no longer possible, Jacob."

"I know when I'm not wanted. I'll leave if that's how it is." He narrowed his eyes. "The Locke, I'd have liked to look at that one. Is it as nice as you said it is?"

"It is, Jacob. Nothing special—I know you've seen better ones. But it's nice."

Jacob's scowl lightened a little. "I like looking at them. Do you have the books here?"

"No. I had a courier bring them."

"A courier? Why would you do that for?"

"Just common caution. Shall I call you a taxi?"

"I have one waiting outside. Did you say twenty-five?"

"Thirty-five."

"Thirty-five!" Whack. "Mocking an old man. I'll leave. I have to go."

Charles held open the door. "Then have a nice flight."

"No such thing." He started slowly and painfully down the first step, and then froze. "What's that?! Don't touch me!" He lifted his cane.

Angelo was four feet from him, also stopped, his eyes slits and his white teeth showing.

"Jacob—" Charles started.

"Street gangs!" Jacob yelped. "Here at your door! That's why you use a courier!"

"Jacob," Charles said. "This is Angelo Acevedo. He is my courier."

Angelo was silent.

"Just take the box in," Charles said.

Jacob shrank back as Angelo passed. "You let him touch your books?"

"I do," Charles said. "And it's fine. Let me help you to your taxi."

"Bah! I'll make it myself."

"Take care, Jacob."

"You too, Charles." Once Jacob was launched he moved quickly. The cab door was opened for him, the cab driver was scolded, and the cab drove away.

*

Charles closed the door and took a deep breath. "Angelo. Everything went okay?"

"Except that old crazy man."

"That's Mr. Leatherman, and he's actually very nice, just prickly."

Angelo frowned. "What is prickly?"

"Like a cactus."

"Like a little dog to bite at you."

"He doesn't bite, he just barks. But never mind. You took a long time."

"I came a different way from you, or why should I even carry the box instead of you?"

"You're right."

Angelo held out his hands. "So, boss, here is your box."

"Thank you." He took it, respectfully. "Go check with Mrs. Beale. I think she has a delivery for you to do this afternoon."

"Okay."

"And Angelo ..."

He turned back from the steps and waited.

"Do you remember the delivery we made together, last November, and the man had the chess set on his desk, and he talked to you in Spanish?"

"I remember that house and that man."

"That is the man who died. These are his books that I bought back today."

"Oh, that man?" He shrugged. "That's too bad."

"It is too bad. That book we took him, it's here in this box."

Angelo glanced at the box with no greater interest than before, and then turned to his next task.

"I'll be in the basement," Charles said to Alice.

*

But he was interrupted. "Mr. Beale?"

Charles had just started for the basement.

"Yes, Morgan?"

As Angelo had ascended, Morgan had descended. He sat on a step halfway down. "There's a first edition Odyssey that just came up on eBay."

"Which translation?"

Morgan had stopped too high and he had to lean forward to see into the showroom. He bumped down one step, and all his pale face and red hair floated into view. "Alexander Pope."

"A 1725 Pope first edition?" Charles snorted. "I doubt it!"

"The listing says first edition. And it says it's signed by the author."

"The translator, you mean."

"It says the author."

Charles paused. "The Odyssey, signed by the author. That would certainly answer the question of whether it was written or oral. I suppose I should come and see."

*

"Do you think it could be anything you'd want?"

Charles squinted at the picture on Morgan's computer. "Not much of a picture."

"It's not a dealer," Morgan said. "Just an individual."

"Send an email. I want to know the usual—the publisher and city, number of pages, and the date. And I want a picture of the title page, and see if he'll tell us where he got it."

"How much would it be worth?"

"A 1725 Pope first edition? Even in poor condition, at least thirty thousand. But that's nothing like a first edition. I'd say it was nineteenth century. How long is the auction?"

"One week. It just started this afternoon."

"Keep an eye on it. We'll see how high it goes. I might decide to bid once we hear back from the seller."

"Yes, sir."

"Thank you, Morgan."

*

Charles stopped at the door to his office.

"Was Jacob all right?" Dorothy asked.

"Yes. Just being sociable. Have you ever read Homer's Odyssey?"

"Yes."

"Do you remember which translation?"

"No. It was in college." She noticed the box in his hands. "And that is the books?"

"This is Derek's books," he said. "Yes. I'm taking them to the basement right now to work on them." He looked at the box in his hand. "Or maybe I shouldn't."

"Why?"

"There might be Greeks hidden inside."

"That was the Aeneid, and that box is not a horse, and they would have to be very small Greeks."

"The Trojans didn't think they were in any danger either."

Afternoon

Down, down, down. He unlocked the door at the bottom and turned on the light.

The building was as old as most of the books, which was fitting. The basement had served many purposes; framed photographs in a corner showed what the renovation had uncovered. The floor had been bare earth for the first half century or so, and then quarters for two slaves, and then for two servants after the Civil War. Then it had been storage and children's rooms and disuse alternating over more years until it had finally become what it now was.

Now the walls were filled with shelves, and the shelves were filled with volumes, and the volumes were filled with ... everything. They rested in their ordered ranks, contemplating the deepest and widest thoughts man had accumulated since contemplation had begun.

The floor, walls, and ceiling were thick and fireproof. The dry, cool air was thick with their philosophies, histories and literatures. It was a very safe place for books.

A few very valuable volumes were in the bank safe deposit, and the lesser items were in the display room upstairs, but this was always the foundation and the heart.

Charles set the box on the desk and turned on the computer.

Then he opened the cardboard box and lifted out the first package, wrapped in crisp brown paper. The paper fell open as he cut the tape.

He opened a drawer and took white gloves, thin clean cotton, to put on, and then he touched the book.

The boards and spine were the brown of soil walked on and worn hard and flat. The lettering was faint.

He lifted the volume and studied it. The spine was sturdy and the page edges were aligned, with none loose. He cradled it in one hand and opened the front board.

The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith.

A two-inch square of light green paper slid off the first page. Alexandria Rare Books was printed on it, with the numbers 7273 2002 handwritten below.

He closed the book, turned it over, and opened the back board. Then he closed it again, turned it vertical, and opened to the center and then to a few other pages, efficiently and carefully, inspecting it at every angle.

Finally he set it back on its wrapping paper and turned to the computer. He typed 7273, read through the book's history on the screen, and then started typing: Purchased at auction 4/21/08, Derek Bastien Estate. Condition unchanged, very good. Price—

He paused and wrote the name of the book on a scrap of the brown paper. He wrote $3,100 beside it, and then typed that number onto the screen. He carried the book to a shelf and moved a ceramic block to make a space.

He typed 235 into the Location field on-screen.

Then he stared again at the brown paper, and paused.

"... eleven ... twelve ... thirteen ..." And he frowned.

But then he shrugged and started on the next package.

*

"Mr. Beale?"

"Yes?" He had four books and four prices listed on the brown paper. Two glass jars and a few small brushes were beside the book he was just closing.

Morgan had marched down the steps. "I'm getting the Anthony Trollope for Angelo to deliver."

"Do you need the computer?"

"For just a minute. And I think Alice was just answering a phone call for you."

"Mr. Beale?" Alice's voice marched down the steps. "There's a call for you, Mr. Edmund Cane."

Charles slid his book into its new space and picked up the phone.

"Charles Beale."

"Good afternoon." A slow, deliberate voice. "My name is Edmund Cane."

"Yes, Mr. Cane? What can I do for you?"

"I understand you were at the Bastien auction this morning?" Every syllable was a distinct word.

"Yes, I was."

"You were present during the sale of the Honaker pedestal desk?"

"Derek Bastien's desk? I was."

"Perhaps you saw the young woman who purchased the desk?"

"Mr. Cane," Charles said. "I hope I'm not being impertinent. By any chance, do you happen to have white hair and a dark gray mustache?"

The phone was silent as Einstein contemplated an equation or two. "Yes, I do. I see you remember me."

"I certainly do, Mr. Cane. It was very dramatic."

"Do you have any idea who might have wanted the desk?"

"Well, you did," Charles said.

Time passed slowly, at least at Charles's end of the phone. Morgan slipped the green label in the front of the Trollope and started wrapping it in brown paper. "Anyone else?" Mr. Cane finally said.

"I am sorry. You might try Norman Highberg. He has a showroom in Georgetown, and he knows the general antiques market much better than I. I only do books."

"Actually, your name was among those given me by Mr. Highberg."

"Hey boss, do you have the box for me?"

They both turned toward the door. In dark pants, dark shirt and dark tie, Angelo was transformed.

"Yes," Charles said. "You're always quiet coming into a room."

"Everything is so always quiet here." There was no transformation of his voice, or his eyes.

"Mr. Cane?" Charles said into the telephone. "I'm sorry, I'll be just a moment."

Morgan sealed the cardboard package. "I'm done." He handed it to Angelo.

"Be very nice to the customer when you see him," Charles said.

"Oh, I am always nice."

"Do they think that you're being nice?"

"I don't know what they think."

"I should ask them. You have the receipt for them to sign?"

"I have that."

"Then we'll see you when you get back. Thank you, Angelo."

"Yes, boss." And then he was gone.

"I'm sorry," Charles said again to the telephone. "Is there anything else I can do to help you?"

"I would like to identify the young woman who bid against me. Do you know anything about her?"

"No, I don't. I'm sorry."

"You have never seen her before?"

"Not that I remember."

"How unfortunate."

"Actually, Mr. Cane, I did just think of something. I don't think it would be much use. But an employee of mine was waiting outside the building. He might have seen her leave."

"Could you ask him?"

"He just left for the afternoon. I'll ask him this evening. But I doubt it would be much help."

"That could be a great help."

"I guess it's all relative," Charles said.

"Good day, Mr. Beale."

"Good day, Mr. Cane."

Morgan was looking at the books on the desk. "Those are the Derek Bastien books?"

"Yes. It doesn't look like they've been touched since we sold them. They all still have their green labels in them."

Morgan picked up one of the glass jars. "Was something loose?"

"Not particularly. The Gibbon had a little spot on the spine. I remember gluing it back when Derek first bought it, but it must not have dried all the way."

"There are fourteen of them?"

"No, thirteen."

"Maybe the computer's wrong. Should I put them on the website?"

"Not yet. I'll tell you when. I think they need a little rest first."

*

The room was silent again. The invaders had all been repulsed.

Charles took the next book, the fifth, out of the box.

They were all books of law, government and human rights, by John Locke, Edmund Burke, Adam Smith, John Adams, David Hume; Rousseau, Voltaire, Montesquieu, de Tocqueville and more; man's nature and man's hopes of overcoming it, or at least containing it.

He held the wrapped book, staring at it. He slowly raised and lowered it, feeling its weight.

His eyes darkened and his brow lowered in anger.

He removed the paper, very slowly.

It was John Locke, An Essay Concerning Human Understanding. The first page was as it should have been, but there was no green paper square. The back cover was normal.

Even as he held it, though, his fingers tensed. He stopped until they had relaxed and he was ready.

Reluctantly, he put his finger against the pages. He took a deep breath and steeled himself. He opened the volume near the middle.

"No!"

He closed his eyes. When he opened them, it was still the same.

"Alice?" he called up the stairs, when he could, trying to sound normal. "Could you ask Mrs. Beale to come down here, please?"

*

"Look," he demanded, even as she was still in the doorway.

It was still on the desk where he'd set it. Defiled.

"What is it, Charles?" Her voice was the stillness that smoothed the waves, and her presence was the water's depths untouched by the storms above.

He touched it. "The pages are cut."

She came close, and she saw it, and his shock and grief was mirrored in her eyes. He waited for her to pass through the sorrow, as he had.

"What is that?"

He touched it, nestled in the hollow space, just a plain box of playing cards. The book had been hollowed for it.

"A card box."

"Which book is it?"

He sighed. "John Locke."

"Why?"

He could only stare. "I don't know."

Together, they could only stare. Then Dorothy asked the first practical question.

"Would Derek have done it?"

"Who else?" He shuddered. "It must have been." The book lay open, embarrassed, on its spine. The cut was exactly sized to fit the box; only a very sharp knife could have cut so cleanly. Charles shivered. "But I can't believe he would have."

"How are the other books?"

"I haven't finished them."

"You should." Encouraging, empathic, and a little stern, all together.

"I'll dread opening each one."

"I know. That's why you need to get through them."

"Just stay down here a little while, won't you?"

"I will," Dorothy said. The book was lying on its brown paper, and she closed it and pulled the whole thing to the side of the desk.

Charles lifted the next package from the cardboard box, took a breath, and opened it.

*

"That was the only one," Charles said, with the last of the other twelve books safely on their shelves.

"We'll have to do something with it," Dorothy said.

"We can't leave it here." He pulled the paper back to the center of the desk. "I don't know what to do. Just throw it away? I couldn't bear to."

"It's completely ruined."

"Thoroughly, through and through. I've never had to deal with such a thing. I can salvage the boards, and maybe we'd use them."

"I suppose we could just put it on the shelf."

"That would be as bad as throwing it away," Charles said, "and I'd see it every time I came down here."

"Then throw it away. I'll do it for you."

"Let's wait."

Dorothy had finished with sentiment. "The longer you wait, the harder it will be."

"But not today." Charles put his hand on the closed book. "I suppose we should see if anything is in the little box." He opened the book. The box of cards hadn't moved.

"What if there is?"

He looked at it bitterly. "Then I'll propose a couple rounds of poker." He put his fingers on the edges of the box. "It isn't even period." He worked it free and weighed it in his hand. "Not cards, anyway."

"I hope it wouldn't be." Her voice was always musical; now it had a note of curiosity.

"It's too light," he said, and opened the top flap. "No jewels, no money, no ancient treasures. Just some papers."

Dorothy moved closer to see. "They must be important."

"They'd better be." Several white sheets were folded together, and he opened the first. "I don't even know what this is. A list." Fifty or more handwritten lines, each two letters, a date, and a number. He showed it to Dorothy.

She read one from the middle of the page. "GJ, nine-twelve-oh-five, twenty-two fifty."

"His computer passwords," Charles said. "Or his automobile mileage."

"Why would he keep his mileage inside John Locke?"

"Why would he keep anything inside John Locke? I don't know." He opened another page. "A copy of four checks." He looked at them closely. "Cashier's checks. They are made out to ... Karen Liu."

"That's a lot of money," Dorothy said.

"Five hundred thousand in all."

"I wonder who Karen Liu is."

"I remember Derek mentioning her name." He frowned. "She is a congressman. Congresswoman. Congressperson."

Then they both were silent. It was a silence of confusion, where thoughts were almost audible.

"Why—?" they both said. Dorothy finished the question.

"Why would Derek have that paper?"

Charles answered, staring, but not at anything. "I don't know."

"And what would the checks be for?"

"I don't know."

Dorothy took the paper. "They're dated eight years ago. When did you sell him that book?"

"Five years ago."

"I wonder where he kept the papers before that."

Charles broke from his reverie. "Oh, he must have had some other hiding place. Maybe he had a hole chiseled out of a Renaissance statue? Or a Ming vase? Or maybe thumbtacked to the back of a Van Gogh."

"Did he have a Van Gogh?"

"I don't think so. But I wonder why he had them hidden at all." Then slowly, he opened a third paper. It was a newspaper article. Charles and Dorothy both read the headline.

Man Killed, Police Search County for Wife.

"We shouldn't look at these," Charles said.

"Maybe we should return them."

"Yes," Charles said. "That's what we should do." But he sounded doubtful.

"Will you call his wife?"

"I don't know. I don't know whose they should be. Legally, they're mine."

"I don't think they were meant to be sold," Dorothy said.

"I'm sure they weren't. But sale at auction is absolute."

"You don't want to keep them, do you?"

"No. It just means that they are mine to figure out what to do with."

Now Dorothy was doubtful. "What did he do at the Justice Department?"

Charles folded the papers and put them back in the box. Distastefully, he pushed the box back into its lair. "Derek was Chief of Staff to the Deputy Assistant Attorney General for Legislative Affairs."

Dorothy frowned, and the solemnity that had watched over the room shifted its gaze elsewhere. "I had no idea such a position existed," she said. Her tone was plain that she saw no need that it should.

"It did. It does still, I suppose."

"Then those papers must have something to do with it. They don't have anything to do with us."

"It's still a poor place to keep them," Charles said.

Dorothy's attention was pulled back to the object on the desk.

"What will you do with the book?"

He stared at the ruin of it. "That is the real difficulty. Oh my," he sighed. "I'm so disappointed."

"How much is it worth?"

"I was going to say four thousand," Charles said. "It was the most valuable book he had."

"How much did you sell it to him for?"

"Twenty-six hundred, five years ago. But it's not the money anyway."

"It's what it says about Derek."

Now they were back to the beginning. "Yes," Charles said. "Exactly. If he needed to hide something, there must have been a hundred other places that didn't require destroying something. I remember delivering that book myself, and we talked for an hour about just it. I even remember the chess game we had while we talked."

"He must have had a reason for doing what he did."

"I'd like to know the reason," Charles said.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Shame - Chapter 1

Shame

David C. Cook (May 2009)



On the Tractor


My name is John Tilden, and this is a story about my life.

My parents always thought I’d grow up to be a doctor. I don’t know how they settled on this—not through personal knowledge of one, since I don’t recall any doctor ever staying in our small west Oklahoma town long enough for anyone to get to know him. Maybe it was General Hospital, which my mother watched furtively when she knew my father was in the fields; maybe it was simply the default dream uneducated country people have for their sons. In any case, all the time I was in high school they had this image of me ministering to the sick and, maybe, pulling down a six-figure income to provide for their old age.

My high school sweetheart, Samantha Mathis, thought I should
be an architect or an engineer. I don’t know why she settled on these occupations for me, since I displayed almost no aptitude in those directions, but when she sat on my lap and kissed me and sketched out our future, I was more than happy to entertain the notion, and made sure all the colleges I applied to had engineering schools, just in case she might be right about me.

I had the idea that I’d become a lawyer or a writer. I’ve always
been good with words, on paper at least, so unlike those other
notions, those options seemed reasonable.

None of these dreams came true. What I ultimately became was
a farmer, like my father and his father before him, and I plow the
sandy red soil of the farm where I’ve lived the better part of forty
years. It is not, I think, what anyone expected, but life, as they say, has a way of changing your plans.

People have always told me I was a thinker, but I believe they
meant different things at different stages of my life. When I was
growing up, they meant that I was destined for a future far beyond
the dusty confines of Watonga, Oklahoma. What they meant once
I passed the age of thirty was that I thought too much for my own
good.

Trouble is, going off on a mental tangent is one of those things
you can’t avoid if you’re a farmer and you’ve got half a mind. Driving a tractor just doesn’t require that much concentration: You chug around in an enclosed space that grows ever smaller, turning left whenever you run out of row. That’s it. A ten-year-old could do it, and this isn’t just folksy exaggeration. I’ve been driving a tractor in these same fields since I was ten years old. Hard to believe so much time has passed and only the tractor has changed: The spindly red Ford is now a monstrous red International Harvester, and here am I, still seated behind the wheel.

The hours stretch as I manhandle the tractor into a turn, shift
gears, lower and raise attachments, listen to the dull roar of the
engine outside the glass-windowed cab. There isn’t much to do out
here besides think, which is what I was doing on that afternoon last fall where I want to begin this story.

I thought about my farm: the price of wheat, currently three
dollars a bushel, although it would drop back to $2.50 when the glut of harvest began in June; the calves I planned to buy and fatten over the winter on the very wheat pasture I was planting at that moment; the repairs I’d need to do on the combine before the next harvest, something perhaps to occupy me on a winter morning or two after the calves were fed.

I thought about my family: my wife, Michelle, much-loved beatnik senior English teacher at our alma mater, Watonga High; our oldest child, Michael, a moody college dropout (just temporary, he claimed); our obedient son B. W. (named Brian Wilson Tilden by my wife after her favorite rock star poet); our youngest, Lauren, twelve years old and changing so quickly in body and mind that I could scarcely keep track of her from week to week or even day to day.

I thought about the basketball team I coached, the Watonga High School students who, as soon as football ended, would take to the court under my part-time tutelage for the third straight winter: B. W., my point guard, throwing passes with the beauty and
precision of geometric diagrams; Larry Burke, whom I called “Bird” because of his wispy mustache and his fadeaway jump shot; Martel and Tyrel Sparks, fast and agile forwards with a lot more talent than discipline; stolid, solid Jimmy Bad Heart Bull, long dark hair in a ponytail, grabbing another of those rebounds that seemed to appear in his hands as though willed there by the Great Spirit. A team, unfortunately, with mostly unrealized promise.

And I thought about myself, the life I inhabited, moving at five miles per hour in a field of dwindling squares enclosed inside each other like Russian nesting dolls, and the contrast with all the lives imagined for me in years long past. Those lives, the ones from which I expected to choose, vanished for reasons you will hear, and yet in some ways they were still there, always present. Maybe a phantom life is like the phantom limb of an amputee: The future I lost still felt tangible—possible, even—but whenever I reached out for it, my hand passed through empty air.

To understand that feeling completely, it’s necessary to go back much further than last fall—to go all the way back, in fact, to the winter of 1974. It was the beginning of basketball season at Watonga High, the moment before my life changed for good, and—as they too often used to—that’s where my thoughts drifted that afternoon last fall while the tractor toiled. The future was revealed only slowly, of course, peeling off event by event like layers of an onion, but in the winter of 1974, I still believed that great things lay ahead, that nothing bad would ever happen to me.

For those four short months from December to March, as
the world outside changed from ice and snow to wildflowers and
redbud blossoms, life was golden: I was in love, colleges were writing acceptance letters, and our team was playing basketball like no one in town had ever seen before.

Bobby Ray Daugherty set a single-game district scoring record
that season that still stands, forty-seven points against our archrival, Thomas High School; Big Bill Cobb earned All State honors at center and went on to play college ball for Southern Methodist in Dallas after becoming one of the leading scorers in Oklahoma high school basketball history; Phillip One Horse returned from a five-game suspension for repeated and flagrant infractions of Coach Parker’s team rules and pulled down seventeen rebounds against Comanche to help us advance to the state finals; Jim “Oz” Osborne threw up a thirty-five-foot set shot at the buzzer of the Comanche game to seal our victory; and I was a point guard with so many targets that I led the conference in assists for two years running, the kind of player who could always make other players look better.

Together, the five of us did what no Watonga High School
sports team had done before or since: We won a state championship. For years after, whenever people from Watonga wanted to conjure us up out of the past, they simply mentioned the year we won it all—1975—and sighed, or without further clarification, referred to “The Team,” and there was never any doubt on Main Street who they were talking about.

We were a team, true enough. The five of us had played together
for what seemed like our whole lives. On the court, we completed
each other, covered for each other’s weaknesses in a way that was
marvelous to behold. It’s too bad that we couldn’t do that for each
other off the court and in the life that followed.

Because, you see, it is no easy thing for a young man to conquer the world—remember how Alexander the Great is said to have wept when he realized there were no more worlds to conquer?—and that is what a state championship means in a country town held together mostly by its school and sports. Between the five of us, I think we represented every possible reaction to early greatness: As of last fall, Bobby Ray had gone through two wives, had three corporations file for Chapter Eleven, and lost more money than I will ever be able to earn; Bill had played college ball, earned his degree in business administration, and stayed on in Dallas where he parlayed his smile, handshake, and jovial laugh into his current life as a bigwig in commercial real estate and the Texas Republican Party; Phillip robbed a Watonga liquor store with a couple of other malcontents in 1979, did ten years hard time in McAlester State Penitentiary, and after his release, hid out on forty acres north of town; Oz went to pharmacy school at Southwestern State courtesy of his pharmacist father-in-law and grew stoop-shouldered from fifteen years of hanging over the counter of that pharmacy down on Main Street, helping the elderly and indigent who are just about all who remain in a town like ours.

And me? Well, in February of 1975, when Samantha Mathis
broke up with me for the first and only time, I was paralyzed with
grief. Phillip One Horse was even at that early date a reliable guide
to the world of alcoholic excess, so when my life’s fateful moment
presented itself to me early one Saturday morning in the person
of cute and lanky Michelle Hooks, I was too drunk to recognize
it as a fateful choice until it was too late and the rest of my life was
determined.

When Samantha drove out to the farm thirteen days later and
tearfully apologized for our fight, we got back together, and I thought it would be best if I didn’t tell Sam about Michelle. Besides, our moment together had really become nothing more than a pleasantly foggy memory.

Sam and I got back to making plans about our future life together,
talking about marriage—when it might come, what it might look
like. She wanted five bridesmaids, which in those days was an awful lot, although I’ve seen more since.

The last time Samantha and I ever talked about marriage was
later that spring when I pulled my truck over to the side of a country road in the middle of a thunderstorm and told her that I was going to have to marry someone else.
Michelle Hooks was pregnant, and I was the father.

I will never forget the silence that stood between us, an invisible
wall in the tiny enclosed space of my pickup cab surrounded by the noise of falling water. First she had cried, which was bad, but then she was silent, and that was worse. She wouldn’t look at me. We sat, the engine revving, “Fire and Rain” crackling in from distant WKY-AM in Oklahoma City, sheets of water pelting the roof and hood. I thought maybe it was starting to hail. A fierce ache rose up from my stomach and took root beneath my rib cage, and I had no real hope or belief that it would ever leave.

“Are you sure it’s yours?” she finally asked. She was still looking
out the fogged-up window toward the fields green with winter
wheat.

“Yes,” I said. I was sure.

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

I bit my lip, let out a pained sigh, shook my head. I was not sure what I was doing, supposed I would never be sure again. “But I have to,” I finally said, and raised my hands, palms up, in front of me, a gesture I’ve performed since I was a kid, a gesture that can mean variously “I’m sorry” or “What can I say?” or both, which is what it meant then.

And that was that. My life in the wider world with Samantha, my career as doctor or architect or engineer or lawyer, someone that people might have treated with respect—all of that was gone. I never really had another choice. Maybe in some places this type of taboo would not require ritual expiation, but in Watonga, Oklahoma, in 1975, the dictates of my conscience and the mores of my community were in perfect accord; there was only one thing I could do and still call myself a decent human being.

People have always insisted that I am a good man, and to a certain extent I believe them. I have tried never to do anything in the dark that I wasn’t willing to make good in the light, and my faith tradition teaches that we are called to do what is right, not what is easy.

I got Michelle Hooks pregnant, so I married her.

And that is how my life changed forever.

Michael came along as anticipated; after Michael, we had two
children who were more or less planned. I took over my parents’
farm out west of town near the Canadian River, and in 1991, a
few years before the story I am to relate, I agreed to help out my
impoverished alma mater by volunteering my time as basketball
coach, an arrangement mostly satisfactory for all concerned.

When I was on the tractor and imagining my life as satisfying—
for truly, much of it was—I liked to think of it in terms of the land,
my family, the gorgeous rip of a basketball finding nothing but net,
and Michelle. Basketball season, after all, was my favorite time of
the year, and for more reasons than just the sport. There were, for
example, those chilly winter evenings that time of year, sitting with Michelle in the fire-lit living room at the far end of our house. The kids floated in and out, depending on their homework and which of the broadcast channels was coming in visibly on our TV. Michelle graded papers, did lesson plans, or curled up with a book. I did my share of reading, and when there was room at the desk, I did my share of writing: letters to my parents in Arizona and to my little sister, to former players lonesome for mail away at college, to Bill Cobb and Samantha—for the girl I loved in high school did not stray outside our team to find a husband—in Rockwall, a suburb of Dallas, where they rubbed elbows with interesting neighbors like Marina Oswald, widow of Lee Harvey, and Olympic track star Michael Johnson, the kind of people I would never meet unless they got as lost as Robinson Crusoe.

On those winter nights, with the fire glistening in the glass of the fireplace insert, the wind whistling across the north field and into the thick stand of cedars my father and I planted along the north side of the house, some Eagles or James Taylor playing low on the antiquated turntable in the bookcase, we sat, Michelle and I, and occasionally we would look over at each other, our eyes would meet, our mouths would curve slightly upward into smiles, and I’d remind myself that things sometimes turn out for the best. Michelle and I had not always loved each other—or rather, I had not always loved her—but I did at last learn to, and wasn’t it better to be unsure at first and in love twenty years down the road than the other way around?

Still, there was that night the family and I were watching an
episode of Unsolved Mysteries about a husband and father of five kids in Galena, Kansas, who got on the tractor one morning and left it sitting empty at the crossroads of a state highway five miles away, engine still running.

“He was murdered,” Lauren theorized from her spot on the love
seat. “Or kidnapped, maybe.”

“By aliens,” B. W. said, his mouth full of popcorn. I reached
down and took a handful for myself.

“He ran out on them, Lauren,” Michael muttered from the floor.

“How could anybody do something like that?” Lauren shot back.

“Maybe he just thought if he plowed one more row it’d be the
death of him,” I said quietly, my mouth full.

Michelle glanced across at me, but with the kids present she didn’t dare ask whether I spoke from personal experience. Not until
later.

Not until bedtime.

One of the rules of our marriage had always been that when we talked at night, after the kids were in bed or otherwise absent, we would be totally honest with each other. I am not a compulsive truthteller—I believe that there are sometimes situations in which a lie is less harmful and certainly kinder than the truth—but over the years, I had never told Michelle an out-and-out whopper at bedtime, and I felt confident she had been equally forthcoming with me. I would not say it had always been easy or that it had bound us together in unbreakable chains of marital trust, but certainly it had never done permanent damage to our relationship, although it might occasionally have altered—or eliminated outright—the cuddling or other activities that might reasonably be expected from a married couple at bedtime.

“J. J., what did you mean, earlier this evening?” she asked, sitting
down on my side of the bed, still fully clothed. I generally went to
bed after hearing the weather on the ten o’clock news, sunup coming awfully early, but Michelle was a night owl and often stayed up to read or work or listen to music.

“Sometimes,” I said, “I can understand how people might want to get out from underneath all that. It’s not always joy and bliss being Farmer Dad.”

She ran her finger lightly down my arm. “Bad day with Michael?”
It was a logical question. Our eldest supposedly had a job working
the closing shift at the local Pizza Hut, which would account for
his being gone all night and sleeping all day. When he was here and awake, he was surly, if he bothered to speak at all. Still, that wasn’t it, and I think she knew it.

“No,” I admitted. “I didn’t even see Michael until I sat down in
front of the TV tonight. I wasn’t one hundred percent sure he still
lived here.” I reached up to her, tried to pull her toward me, and she did lean a bit closer, although she made me come up the rest of the way to meet her. After she kissed me once, softly, and nuzzled my cheek, she stood up, walked to the door, and hit the light, leaving me in darkness.

“You know, I do understand,” she said as she closed the door, and
maybe she did, although it was also true that late that night when
she came to bed and snuggled close, rousing me from a light sleep
and dreams of far away, she whispered into my ear, as she sometimes did at such times, “J. J., do you love me?” and I muttered back, somewhat less than half-awake, “You know I do, Shell.”

And this, I swear to you, was gospel truth, for however it was that we began our life together, Michelle is a wonderful woman, and if it took me a long time to accept just how wonderful, I did learn at last. I could not have imagined a better mother for my children, or a wife who cared more for me. Michelle knew me so well, had loved me for so long, that perhaps she did indeed understand the sad, sorry, shameful impulses that could make a man imagine leaving his tractor, his home, and his family, those same impulses that make up most of the story I am to tell you.

All of these things went through my mind on that sunny September day in 1994 as I listened to Don Henley sing of forbidden love, loud and raucous on the tractor’s cassette player, as a fly pattered forlornly against the inside glass of the enclosed cab, as the warming sun dropped slowly toward the far rim of the Canadian River Valley a few miles west: things from my past, present, and future. I had been around long enough to understand that, taken all together, these were the truths about life: Things had happened; things were happening; things were going to happen.

The last of these truths remained mysterious to me, as it must.
But all the same, with so much thoughtful time on my hands, I
couldn’t help but sit and wonder.

Did my future include another twenty years on a tractor in red
dirt, turning ever inward on myself? Or would there come a day
when I drove straight and true toward the far horizon?

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Nothing But Trouble - Chapter 1

Nothing But Trouble

Tyndale House Publishers (May 1, 2009)



Chapter 1


PJ Sugar would never escape trouble. Clearly, she couldn’t shake free of it—regardless of how far and fast she ran. It had followed her from Minnesota, to South Dakota, to Colorado, to Montana, down the shore to California, and finally over to Melbourne Beach, Florida, where it rose with teeth to consume what should have been the most perfect night of her life.

She stood on the shore, her toes mortared into the creamy white sand, the waves licking up to her ankles, and with a cry that sounded more frustration than fury, threw her linen espadrille with her best underhand pitch. It sailed high, cutting through the burning sky, disappeared briefly in the purple haze of night, then splashed into the ocean.

Gone. Along with her future.

A seagull soared low, screaming, pondering the morsel it may have missed.

“PJ, come back inside.” Matthew’s voice sounded behind her as he trekked out onto the beach, kicking sand into his loafers, looking piqued as the wind raked fingers through his brown, thinning hair, snagged his tie, and noosed it around his neck. He dangled her oversized canvas purse in his hand, as if it might be a bomb.

Ten feet away, he held it up to her, like a carrot. “They haven’t even brought out the crab legs yet. You love those.”

“Oh, sure I do. Right along with brussel sprouts and pickled herring.” She’d been so soundly ensconced in Happily Ever After Land she’d failed to see that the man she wanted to marry didn’t even know she hated crab legs.

Pretty much all shellfish.

Thanks to the fact that she was allergic to it.

Matthew lowered the purse, as if her words stung him. “Really?”

PJ shook her head, her mouth half open, not even sure where to start. Behind them, calypso music drifted out of Dungarees Restaurant, festive themes for happy couples. Twinkle lights stringing along the thatched roof overhung the porch, and the piquant smell lifting off the grills on the patio snarled her empty stomach. Maybe she should go back inside, pick up the wicker chair she’d knocked over.

He owed her dinner, at least.

She stood her ground, forcing him to march her belongings across the sand.

“Here’s your, uh . . . suitcase.” He held it out to her, letting go before she had her hand on it. It dropped with the weight of an anvil onto the glossy sand.

“Hey, that’s my personal survival kit—show some respect.” She scooped it up, realizing she’d been entirely too civil during his execution of their relationship. “You never know when you’re going to need something.” Laugh all he wanted—if a gal was going to haul around a purse, it should be filled with all things handy. Tape, to shut someone’s mouth, for example. Or a flashlight, to guide her way home across a black expanse of shore.

“Sorry.” He stuck his hands into the pockets of his khakis, his sports coat like a warning flag as it whipped around him. “C’mon, PJ, come back inside. Please. It’s cold out here.”

“Seriously? Because ten minutes ago you were telling me how I wasn’t the girl for you. How, after nearly a year of dating, on a night when I expected—” Nope, she wasn’t going there. Wasn’t going to give him the slightest satisfying hint that she might have come to dinner tonight hoping—convinced, even—that he’d actually take a knee and put words to what she thought she’d seen in his eyes. Devotion. Commitment.

How could she have cajoled herself into believing that perfect Matthew Buchanan, church singles group leader and seminary student, might see a pastor’s wife in her.

Maybe she wasn’t exactly the picture of a pastor’s wife, with her curves, dark red hair, too many freckles spraying her nose as if she were still fifteen. She’d never considered herself refined, more on the cute side, her height conspiring against her hopes of being willowy and elegant. But her eyes were pretty—green, and honest, if maybe too wide in her face. And she’d cleaned up over the years. Even if Matthew didn’t think her beautiful, couldn’t he see past her rough edges to the woman she longed to be—a friend of Jesus, a woman of principle, a servant of grace? A girl who’d finally outrun her mistakes?

Apparently not.

She should be flinging herself into the surf right behind her espadrille.

“Expecting what, PJ?” Matthew had a far-away, even stricken look in those previously warm eyes.

PJ couldn’t believe she was actually answering him, and in a tone that betrayed her disappointment. “I just thought we were heading somewhere.”

“Like the missions trip to Haiti? You wanted to go on that with me?”

She stared at the place between his eyes, pretty sure she still had her shortstop aim. Her grip tightened on the other espadrille. “No,” she said slowly, crisply. “Not the missions trip.”

“Oh.” Wonder of wonders, he got it then, his face falling as he replayed his rejection. “I’m sorry. It just isn’t working for me.”

What did that mean, exactly? Wasn’t working? Like she might be a cog that fouled up his perfect image? Clearly he’d forgotten the depths from which he’d climbed. Especially since, in her recent memory, he’d been a Budweiser drinking surfer.

“You said that.” PJ hauled her bag up to her shoulder and curled her arms around her waist as her sundress twisted through her legs. She turned away, watching the ocean darken with its mystery. She never really swam in the ocean, just waded. The riptides and the unknown predators that lurked below the surface scared her. She tasted the salt in the cool spay that misted the air, heard hunger in the waves as they chewed the sand around her feet. She sometimes wondered what lay beyond the shore, in the uncharted depths of the sea.

And if she’d ever have the courage to find out.

“It’s just that, I want to be a pastor, and . . . ,” Matthew said, his voice closer to her.

“And?” She wrapped her arms around her waist, fighting a shiver.

“You’re just not pastor’s wife material.”

PJ refused to let his epitaph show on her face and found a voice that didn’t betray her. “Do you remember the last time we were out on the beach together?”

“What? Uh . . . no . . . wait—a couple weeks ago, we got ice cream on the pier.”

PJ closed her eyes. “That wasn’t with me.”

Silence. She didn’t temper it.

“Then, no.”

“It was the night of the sea turtles. Remember, we had to use flashlights because they made all the residents along the shore turn off their outside lights? We had our arms woven together to keep from losing each other. I remember wondering if it was possible to read your thoughts, because I couldn’t see your face.”

“We nearly walked on a sea turtle coming to shore,” Matthew said, reminiscence in his tone. She glanced at him, and something like pain or concern emerged on his face, edged in the shadow of whiskers.

PJ turned away, back to the ocean. “I kept thinking—that turtle mama’s going to bury her babies on shore and never see them again. She was going to leave them to fend for themselves, to struggle back to the sea, tasty defenseless morsels diving back into an ocean where they’re the main course.”

She stared at her shoe, dangling in her hand. The wind ran its sticky fingers through her hair, tangling what had been a stylish short bob into a nest. Gooseflesh prickled her skin—she was cold and hungry, but she’d wrap herself in seaweed and dig a bunker in the sand before she’d return to the restaurant with Matthew. Probably she could even find something to eat in her so-called suitcase.

“Do you think they made it?” She wasn’t sure why she asked, why she prolonged this moment, their last. Probably trying to unravel time, as usual, figure out where it had snarled, turned into a knot.

Matthew dug his foot into the sand, watching it. “If they were supposed to, I guess.” He sighed. “Let’s go inside, PJ.”

PJ ran her eyes over the profile she’d previously—about an hour previously—told herself she loved. His sharp jaw, that lean rectangle frame. Barefoot, she still came to nearly his chin.

She wanted a taller man. “You’ve got to be kidding.”

He frowned.

“I’m not doing this ‘let’s be friends’ thing with you.”

“But we were friends before.” He reached for her and she dodged him, raising her shoe.

“Back away.”

“Whatya gonna do, PJ? Bean me with a shoe?”

“Don’t tempt me.”

He shook his head. “See, this is why we’d never work out. I need someone who is . . .”

“Perfect? Doesn’t show her emotions?”

He raised his shoulder in an annoying shrug. “Pastor’s wife material.”
Now he was going to get hurt. “Oh, that’s rich. Coming from a former surfer with a scar where his eyebrow bar used to be. What happened to ‘Ride the waves, PJ, and see where they take you’?”

His eyes darkened. “I’ve changed.”

And, apparently, she hadn’t. “Good-bye, Matthew. And by the way, yes, I hate crab legs. Because I’m allergic to them. Pay attention.”

She turned and kicked up sand as she marched across the beach, thankful she could see her condo/motel/efficiency—depending on who she talked to—in the distance. She’d give just about anything for her Chuck Taylors to run home in. But she’d dressed to kill, or at least for love, this evening in a floral sundress and new espadrilles that gave her a sort of out-of-body feminine feeling. She needed her Superman pajama pants and a tank top, and fast.

“PJ! Don’t run away!” Matthew’s voice lifted over the surf.

“Running away is what I do best!” She didn’t turn.

“Why do you have to be such a drama queen?”

Okay. That. Was. It. She spun around, dropped her bag to the sand, and with everything in her, hurled her other shoe at him, a hard straight shot that any decent first baseman could have nabbed or at least dodged.

His four-letter snarl into the night put the smallest of smiles on her lips as she turned away.

The restless ocean stirred into the sounds of the club music as she hiked up the beach. She clung to the shadows, avoiding the pool of light from houses and condos, restaurants and cafes.

Not pastor’s wife material.

She broke out into a little jog, hiking up the confining rim of her hem.
Angling up the sand, she hopped over the boardwalk toward her building. Brine-scented seagrass brushed the walkway, carpeted the trail to the two story Sandy Acres motel/apartment complex, the half-lit sign now reading only Sa . . . d..Ac..es, a term that seemed particularly apropos as she opened the metal gate alone, again.

Around the patio area, rusty pool furniture glimmered under the tinny, buzzing fluorescent lights. A horde of moths flirted with death around the heat of the bulbs; the earthy palmetto smell tangled with the coconut oil smeared onto the deck chairs, tempering the sharp odor of chlorine. Hip hop thrummed under her downstairs neighbor’s door, and wet towels taunted by the wind slapped the metal rail above her as she climbed the stairs to her unit.

Home sweet home.

A temporary home. Three years could mean temporary. In fact, until tonight, she’d already been mentally packing, giving away her garage-sale wicker, even, finally, her Kellogg High School Mavericks sweatshirt. Maybe even Boone’s leather jacket, the one she’d stolen the night she left town. It seemed an uneven prize to all he’d cost her.

Her skin prickled as she fought the deadbolt.

Boone had probably forgotten the girl who wound her arms around his waist, and dug her face into the leathery pocket between his shoulder blades as he roared them away from Kellogg on his Kawasaki.

Loneliness met her in the silence, the lights between the slats of the blinds striping the bed sheet that cordoned off her so-called bedroom. Her faucet dripped, and she dropped her key onto the counter, surrendering to the habitual attempt to turn it off. Then she ca-lumped her bag onto the chair, folded her arms, and stared out the window at the dark, hungry ocean.

Almost without realizing it, she clamped her hand over her left shoulder, high, near the apex, where the word Boone marked her in flowery script.
Beep. Behind her, the answering machine beckoned her away from the past and what might have been.

Boone was probably in jail, or worse, reformed and married, with children. The great taboo, her mother hadn’t once mentioned him in their phone calls, hadn’t scrawled his name in her letters. He had probably forgotten her, just like everyone else.
Beep.

Forgotten that she’d left Kellogg, Minnesota accused of a felony—an accusation too easily pinned on a high school senior whose reputation indicted her without trial. Her only crime had been abysmal judgment in men and allowing her heart to trespass into places her common sense told her not to tread.

A crime, apparently, she kept committing.

Beep.

Forgotten that her mother cut a deal with the director of the country club, one that included a full tank of gas and promises of a new kitchen. Her mother’s instructions to her included the phrase “just until things blow over.”

Beep.

Perhaps things had blown over long ago. Perhaps she was the one not ready.

Beep!

She pushed the Play button as she opened the freezer. Please let there be ice—
“PJ, it’s me.” Connie. The fact that her sister’s attorney-solemn voice tremored made PJ close the freezer door.

“Don’t panic.” Of course not. Because Connie never called her without some earth-shattering joyful news. I passed the bar. I bought a house. I’m having a baby. I’m getting married again!

PJ forced herself to remember that dissecting all that joy was the dark news of husband number one’s death. No one, regardless of how successful, thin, wealthy, and smart, deserved to be woken up at 2 a.m. by the police and asked to identify her husband’s remains. Or those of his mistress, with whom he’d been traveling when his car went off the road.

Still, PJ could hear panic under Connie’s voice. Especially when Connie continued, a little too quickly.

“Okay, listen, I know you don’t want to hear this, but . . . I need you to come home.”

Connie took a breath. And PJ held hers.

“Mom’s been in an accident.”

Everything went silent—the hip hop beating the floorboards, the far-off hunger of the ocean, Matthew’s criticism in her ear. The years rushed up at her, like a line drive, knocking her off her feet, regrets scattered like dust in her shadow.

Then Connie sighed and hung up. The beep and time signature noted no further messages.

PJ reached for the phone.

***
Connie sounded as if she might be on her fourth cup of coffee in some cement-lined corridor, tapping out the hour in her Jimmy Choos.

“PJ, where have you been? Mom’s already had her cast set and is in recovery.”

“Please, Connie, not now. Just. . . . what happened?” PJ pressed the phone tight to her ear and paced to the window, the ten-year near estrangement with her mother hollowing her out. Had her mother forgotten her silent pledge to carry on, to be waiting if and when PJ summoned the courage to point her car north?

“She fell on the tennis court and broke her ankle.”

The window’s cool surface broke the sweat across PJ’s forehead. Tennis? “For Pete’s sake, Connie, I thought . . . oh man . . . don’t call me again.”

“PJ!”

“What?”

“Don’t you want to know how bad it is?”

PJ sank into a chair. “How bad is it?”

“They casted her ankle; her bones are secured with a pin. She’ll be out of the hospital tomorrow. But, PJ, I need you to come home. I’m getting married in a week, and I need help.”

Married. Of course. PJ had seen a picture of Sergei, Connie’s fiancé, and seriously wondered why a double-degreed lawyer might be marrying her Tae Kwon Do coach. But who was she to question—after all, she, a near-felon, had dreamed she might pass as a pastor’s wife.

“I thought you two were eloping.” PJ had managed to catch her breath and now returned to the freezer, cradled the phone against her shoulder, and dug out the Moose Tracks. As she opened the lid, crystallized edges and the smell of freezer burn elicited only a slight hesitation. She lifted a spoon from the dish drainer cup in the sink.

“We were flying down to Cancun, but Sergei’s parents couldn’t get a visa for Mexico, so I planned a little soiree at the country club. But the thing is, I have vacation time coming, and if I don’t use it, I’ll lose it. So we need to get away now if we want a honeymoon, and Mom certainly can’t watch David while she’s in a cast. I need you, Peej.”

PJ leaned a hip against the counter, cleaning the sides of the carton, the chocolate swirls melting against the roof of her mouth, sweet, with only an edge of bitter.

“So let me get this straight—it’s okay that you weren’t going to invite me to the sunny sands of Mexico to watch you tie the knot with Mr. Muscle, but you want me to leave my life and return home at your whim?” She kept her eyes averted from the threadbare wicker and the chipped Formica table and stomped the floor once, real loud, hoping the boyz in the hood might hear her over the rap.

On the other end of the phone, Connie’s voice wadded into a small, tight ball. “PJ, I know how you feel about Kellogg and Boone and especially Mom, and frankly I don’t blame you. I’ve even tried to respect your decision. But it’s time to come home. You have family here. I need you. David needs you . . .”

PJ tossed the empty container into the sink, licked off the spoon. Down the street, a car peeled out in a hurry somewhere, and a dog barked in disapproval.

“You know how I feel? Really? Because you got to stay, Connie. After graduation, you went on to college, to a life. I left town right after the ceremony, a Tupperware bowl of fruit on the seat beside me, praying my ancient VW bug would make it to the South Dakota border. I’ve spent the past ten years wandering from one tank of gas to the next, trying to figure out where I should land. You lived the life Mom dreamed for you—”

“You lived the life you dreamed for yourself.”

PJ flinched, Connie’s voice sharper than she remembered. She stared out the window, wondering if Matthew still stood on the beach, a hand to his bleeding head. “Is that what you seriously believe?”

Silence on the other end made PJ rub her fingers into her eyes. Connie had become an unlikely ally over the past ten years, mediating between PJ and their mother, once in a while, sending her enough to cover her rent. However, it still wasn’t so easy to share the limelight with the sister who was wanted.

As opposed to being the one left on the proverbial doorstep. Being adopted sounded so endearing to everyone but the adoptee. The fact that Connie had been born just a few months later, close enough to share the same classes in school, constantly earning better grades and more awards, only served as a constant reminder that PJ hadn’t been good enough, even from birth.

“I’m sorry,” PJ said, letting a sigh leak out. “I’ve had a rough night.”

“Then come home, PJ. If only for a couple weeks. Or longer. You can stay with me until you find your own place.”

“Did you ask Mom?” PJ winced, hating the question and that she didn’t yank it back. Hadn’t she learned anything?

“I asked. Even if Mom won’t admit it, she needs you.”
PJ stood at her screen door, staring out at the now star-sprinkled night glistening on the rippled landscape. The Milky Way streamed across the sky, heading north.

“Please?” Admittedly, it was the closest to pleading she’d ever heard from Connie. “I need you.”

“How long before your wedding?”

“Six days. Sunday at two.”

PJ hung up without promises and walked back outside, over the boardwalk to the beach. The wind had chased the clouds, and a diamond chip moon hung in the sky, surrounded by the jewels of the night, brilliant and close enough to wrap her fingers around. She pressed her bare feet into the sand, then lifted them out, listening to the water slurp, then fill the imprints. Finally, she stared out again at the ocean and wondered how many turtles really made it back to the sea.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

A Vote Of Confidence - Chapter 1

A Vote Of Confidence

Zondervan (April 2009)


Chapter 1


Idaho, May 1915

The Torpedo Runabout cut the corner from Shenandoah Street onto Wallula Street, driving over two of the boarding house’s rose bushes in the process. The automobile then weaved dangerously close to Guinevere Arlington’s white picket fence.

With a gasp, Gwen jumped up from the porch swing.

In the nick of time, the Model T Ford veered away from her fence, avoiding disaster.

“Hello, ladies.” The driver tipped his hat to Gwen and her sister as if nothing was amiss.

“And there goes our next mayor.” Cleo shook her head and cast a look of despair at Gwen. “Ten o’clock in the morning and drunk as a skunk. Can you imagine him holding the reins of government?”

“No, I can’t.” Gwen sank onto the porch swing again. “Hiram Tattersall is a fool, not to mention his penchant for strong spirits.”

Cleo crossed one booted foot over another as she leaned against the porch railing. “Why don’t you run for office, Gwennie? Not a reason in the world you couldn’t do it.”

“Me?” Gwen looked at her twin in disbelief.

“Of course you. There’s nothing in the law that says a woman can’t be the mayor of our fair town. You’re a nicer person than Mayor Hopkins, the old coot?”

“Cleo. Don’t be unkind.”

“I’m sorry. I know he’s sick or we wouldn’t be having this special election. But he hasn’t done a single, solitary thing of worth while he’s been mayor, and everybody knows Tattersall will be an even worse mayor than Hopkins.”

“I have no qualifications for political office.”

“And Tattersall does? You’d do a better job than Hopkins and Tattersall put together. Folks like you.” Cleo winked. “Especially the men, pretty as you are.”

Gwen wasn’t amused. “If I were to run, I wouldn’t want to be elected for my appearance.”

“So don’t let that be why. You got that fancy education burning to be put to use. Why not let folks see you’re as full of information as a mail-order catalog?”

It was a ridiculous idea. Gwen had no intention of running for mayor. She was content giving piano lessons to the children of Bethlehem Springs and writing her columns for the local newspaper.

Cleo drank the last of her iced tea, set the glass on the porch floor, and pushed off from the railing. “I’d best get back to the ranch. I’ve got a load of chores still to be done.” She slapped her floppy-brimmed hat onto her head, covering her mop of short, strawberry-blonde curls. “You’d be doing this town a favor if you were its mayor. We could use a little forward thinking, if you ask me.”

Gwen smiled as she rose from the swing. “Darling Cleo, I could never be as forward thinking as you.”

“Ha!”

Gwen followed her sister off the porch and around to the back of the house where Cleo’s pinto was tethered to a post. Cleo stopped long enough to give Gwen a hug and a kiss on the cheek, then untied her horse, grasped the saddle horn, and swung into the seat. “You think about it, Gwennie. I’m telling you. It’s the right thing to do. You pray and see if the Lord doesn’t agree with me.” With a tug on the brim of her hat, she twirled her horse away and cantered down the street.

Gwen shook her head. Cleo could come up with the most outlandish ideas. Imagine: Gwen Arlington, mayor of Bethlehem Springs. It was preposterous. Not that she didn’t believe women should serve in public office. She did, and she was glad she lived in a state where women had the right to vote. But she had no political ambitions.

With a sigh, she returned to the front porch and settled onto the cushioned seat of the swing, giving a little push with her feet to start it in motion.

The air smelled of fresh-turned earth, green grass, and flowers in bloom. The mountains of southern Idaho were enjoying warm weather, although snow could be seen on the highest peaks to the north and east of Bethlehem Springs.

Gwen loved this small town. She loved her neighbors, the children who came for lessons, the women in her church sewing circle. She loved the long, narrow valley, the river that flowed through it, and the tree-covered mountains that overlooked it all. She loved the sense of the old West and the new century that surrounded her, horses and automobiles, outhouses and indoor plumbing, wood-burning stoves and electric lights.

Her mother, Elizabeth Arlington, hadn’t felt the same about Idaho. She despised everything about it, so much so that after four years of marriage, she’d left her husband and returned to her parents’ home in Hoboken, New Jersey, taking two-year-old Gwen with her.

“Be thankful, Guinevere,” her mother said on many an occasion over the years, “that your father allowed you to come with me. We’re alike, you and I. We need society and fine culture. Think of the advantages you’ve had that poor Cleopatra has gone without. The opera and the theater. Fine schooling. You would never be suited to live in that backwater town where your father chose to settle.”

But her mother was wrong. Bethlehem Springs did suit Gwen — a truth she discovered soon after her arrival in Idaho seven years before. At the age of twenty-one, and with the reluctant blessing of her mother, she had come to Idaho to meet the father and sister she couldn’t remember. She hadn’t intended to stay, but in a few short weeks she’d fallen in love with the area. Her heart felt at home here as it never had in New Jersey.

A frown puckered her forehead. What would happen to Bethlehem Springs if Hiram Tattersall became its mayor? He wouldn’t try to better their schools or improve roads or help those who had lost jobs due to mine closings. And if the governor of the state succeeded in passing prohibition in Idaho, as many thought he would, Tattersall wouldn’t enforce it in Bethlehem Springs. She was convinced of that.

I would do a better job than he would.

But of course she had no intention of running for mayor.

No intention whatsoever.

***

Morgan McKinley wanted nothing more than to punch that artificial smile off Harrison Carter’s face.

“You’ll have to wait until after the election, Mr. McKinley. I’m sorry. The new mayor and the county commissioners must be in agreement on these matters.”

Before Morgan did something he would regret—something that would get him tossed into the jail one floor below — he bid a hasty farewell and left the commissioner’s chambers. When he exited the municipal building, he paused on the sidewalk long enough to draw a calming breath.

Harrison Carter had delayed this decision for personal reasons, not for anything to do with an election. Several times over the past year, the commissioner had offered to buy the land where New Hope was being built. If he thought these delays would change Morgan’s mind about selling, he was in for a big disappointment.

With a grunt of frustration, he turned and headed for his automobile, parked on the west side of the sandstone building. Fagan Doyle, Morgan’s business manager and good friend, leaned against the back of the car, his pipe clenched between his teeth.

“Well?” Fagan cocked an eyebrow.

Morgan shook his head.

“Then I’ll be asking what it is you mean to do about it?”

“I don’t know yet.”

Morgan got behind the wheel of the Model T while Fagan moved to the crank. Once the engine started, Fagan slid into the passenger seat and closed the door. Morgan turned the automobile around and followed Main Street out to the main road, thankful his friend didn’t ask more questions. He needed to think.

Occasional complications and delays were expected when a man undertook a large building project, but this felt different. Morgan had half expected Harrison to ask for money under the table, but that hadn’t happened. Just as well since Morgan wasn’t the sort who bribed public officials. Nor allowed himself to be blackmailed by them. Not under any circumstance.

Twenty minutes later, the Touring Car arrived on the grounds of what would one day be a unique resort—the New Hope Health Spa. The main lodge had taken shape at the upper end of the compound. Morgan no longer needed to study the architectural renderings to imagine what it would look like when finished.

He wished his mother had lived to see it. This spa had been her dream before it became his.

Before the automobile rolled to a stop, the site foreman, Christopher Vance, ran toward them. “Morgan, we’ve got a problem”

Another one? “What is it?”

“The dam on Crow’s Creek. It’s leaking. I’m not sure it’ll hold. I’ve got a crew up there now working on it.”

Morgan’s gaze shifted toward the narrow road at the east end of the compound. About a mile up they’d built the dam that would provide and control the cold water used in conjunction with the natural hot water from the springs.

“I’d better see it for myself. Hop in,” he said to the two men, “and we’ll drive up there.”

If that dam broke, a good portion of the resort compound could end up covered in several inches of water. Not the end of the world, but it would stop construction until things dried out. Another delay.

“Somebody did this, Morgan,” Christopher added. “It’s no accident.”

He frowned at his foreman. “Are you sure?”

“Sure enough.”

Why would anyone want to sabotage the dam? It was deep into his property, and he hadn’t diverted water that was needed by anyone else. No farmers or ranchers were dependent upon the flow of Crow’s Creek. He’d made sure of that.

Could Harrison Carter be behind it?

On her way to the Daily Herald with her latest article, Gwen stopped by the mercantile to inquire about Helen Humphrey. The poor woman had suffered with severe back pain for more than two months, and nothing she’d tried had relieved it.

“The doctors say rest is the only thing that’ll help,” Bert Humphrey told Gwen. “And even then they’re not sure she’ll ever be without pain. Maybe the health spa that fellow’s building will do her some good. Nothing else has. Not that we could afford it. Something that fancy’s bound to cost more than we could come up with.”

“I’m so sorry to hear you don’t have better news, Mr. Humphrey.
But, no matter what it costs, do you really believe taking the
waters would help her? I’m afraid I’m somewhat skeptical.”

“I don’t know. I’d try just about anything at this point.”

Gwen offered a sympathetic smile. “Please tell Helen I’ll make
some of my chicken and dumplings and bring it over.”

He swept a hand over his balding head. “She hasn’t had much
appetite, but I know we’ll be glad for it, all the same.”

“I’ll keep her in my prayers.”

“We’d appreciate it.”

Gwen bid the proprietor a good day, then left the store. As
she walked along Wallula Street toward the newspaper office, her
thoughts remained on the resort. There were varying feelings in
Bethlehem Springs about the construction of the spa ten miles to
the north. Many people thought it would be good for the town;
quite a few local men were already employed as carpenters and
general laborers. Other townsfolk thought the resort would change
Bethlehem Springs for the worse, bringing in too many outsiders.
Of course, there were a few in town who thought the spa would
fail, so what did it matter?

Gwen didn’t know what to believe. She’d never frequented a spa, although she had gone with Cleo a few times to sit in one of the
natural hot springs on their father’s ranch. Enjoyable, to be sure,
but was it a cure for physical ailments? For all she knew, McKinley
was a snake oil salesman of the worst kind, offering a cure to the
hopeless — a cure that didn’t exist.

There was also the matter of McKinley being a newcomer to
the area. No local had heard of him until he arrived in the area a
year ago. And although the wealthy Easterner had purchased the
old Hampstead home on Skyview Street, it sat empty. Folks said
the new owner was at the resort site every day of the week, coming
into town only long enough to send a telegram, pick up his mail,
and purchase supplies. Not once had he spent the night in town.

“The time I met him, he was genial enough,” Nathan Patterson,
owner and editor of the Daily Herald, had said once. “A
newspaper friend of mine from Boston says the McKinley family
is among the wealthiest in America. Doesn’t it seem odd that he
would end up here, of all places?”

“Thinks himself too good for the likes of us, I gather.” That
had been Edna Updike’s opinion — something Gwen’s neighbor
never hesitated to share. “He doesn’t even go to church. A heathen, no doubt.”

“Not much mail ever,” Dedrik Finster, the postmaster, had said
in Gwen’s presence just a week ago. “He is mystery, ja?”

Arriving at the newspaper office, Gwen shook off thoughts of
the resort and the mysterious Morgan McKinley. “Hello, Mr. Patterson,” she said as she stepped through the doorway.

“Ah, there you are, Miss Arlington. I was wondering when
you would have your column for me. What’s your story about this
time?”

“The expansion of educational opportunities for women in the
past fifty years and the importance of women taking advantage of them. Did you know, Mr. Patterson, that there were only five women lawyers or notaries in 1870 but almost fifteen thousand by 1910?”

Nathan shook his head. “Not sure I think women should be
lawyers.”

“Why not? A woman doesn’t have an inferior mind. She is as
able to grasp the written law as any man. Deborah was a judge in
Israel, if you’ll recall. And if a woman is widowed, isn’t it better
that she have an education and a profession that will allow her to
support herself and her children rather than to be dependent upon
the generosity of relatives or her church?”

“Well, of course. But — ”

“But not in a man’s profession?” She offered a smile, taking the bite out of her question.

“You have me there, Miss Arlington.” He chuckled. “There is certainly nothing inferior about your mind.”

“Thank you.” She held out the carefully penned pages.

Nathan took them. As he glanced down at some other papers
on his desk, he muttered, “Wish I could say the same for our one
and only candidate for mayor. Tattersall.” He growled in disgust.
“I can’t figure why no one else has stepped forward to run against
him. The election will be here before we know it.”

Cleo’s words echoed in Gwen’s thoughts: “Why don’t you run
for office, Gwennie?”
She ignored the shiver of excitement that raced up her spine and posed her sister’s question to the newspaperman. “Why don’t you run for office, Mr. Patterson?”

“Politics wouldn’t suit me. I’m better reporting the news than
making it.”

“Not a reason in the world you couldn’t do it,” Cleo’s voice whispered in her head.

Gwen glanced at the pages in the editor’s hands. She’d written the article to encourage women to step forward, to better themselves, to make a difference in the society in which they lived. Was it possible God had been speaking to her even as she wrote those words to other women?

Softly, she said, “My sister thinks I should run.”

Nathan stared at her.

“It’s a silly notion, of course.” Her heart hammered and her
pulse raced. “I told Cleo it was.”

Wordlessly, he leaned back in his chair, rubbing his chin with
his right hand. “Silly?” A long pause, then, “I’m not so sure it is.”

“You’re not?” Her throat felt parched.

“Isn’t a woman mayor a little like a woman judge?” He shot
up from his chair, knuckles resting on the top of the desk. “Do it,
Miss Arlington. Run for mayor. The newspaper will put its support
behind your candidacy.”

“But Mr. Patterson, I’ve never held public office before. Why would you support me?”

“My gut tells me you would do what needs to be done. You’re articulate and well educated. You obviously aren’t afraid to speak out when you see a problem the community needs to address. You’ve done so often enough in your columns.”

She wished she hadn’t spoken. She wished she’d kept her thoughts to herself.

“Do it, Miss Arlington. The town will be grateful. And I must
admit it would give me plenty of interesting things to write about in the coming weeks. Never been a woman mayor that I know of.” He jotted a note on a slip of paper. “I’ll have to look that up. Wouldn’t it be something if we were the first?”

“I haven’t said I’ll do it yet.”

“Think about what it’ll be like here if Tattersall’s elected.”

Gwen took a step back from his desk. “I . . . I’ll want to pray
about it and . . . and talk to my father.”

“Of course. Of course. You do that. But I’m telling you, Miss
Arlington, you should do this.”

***


Fortunately, Christopher Vance’s worst fears weren’t realized. The
damage appeared less serious than first perceived. By late afternoon, the crew of men had stabilized the dam on Crow’s Creek. More permanent repairs would be undertaken in the morning.

Later that evening, after the camp cook had served dinner and
the men were settling in for the night, Morgan walked up the draw
at the north end of the compound and sat on a log where he was
afforded a view of the resort site. Behind him and across from him,
ponderosa and lodgepole pines blanketed the steep mountainsides. Wondrous. Awesome. God’s handiwork revealed for all to see. Morgan had traveled many places around the world, seen many beautiful things, but few had come close to stirring his heart the
way this place did.

His gaze was drawn to the lodge. Four stories tall, the exterior
was made of logs, giving it a rugged, western look. But the interior
would be anything but austere. The plans called for fine wall coverings, elegant carpets, original artwork to satisfy the senses, and large, comfortable guest rooms. The kitchen would have all the latest innovations, a place where the resort’s chef would create meals for lodgers that were both healthy and delicious.

On the opposite side of the clearing from the lodge, work had
begun on the bathhouse and the two pools that would be fed by
the natural hot springs on the property. The bathhouse was fashioned after some of the European spas Morgan had visited with his mother — private bathing rooms with large, porcelain tubs and two steam rooms, one for men and one for women. But there would be one major difference between New Hope and those European resorts. Morgan’s spa would be a place for prayer as well as for relaxation, a place for both spiritual and physical healing. In fact, he was sitting near where the resort’s Danielle McKinley Prayer Chapel would stand.

“What good is physical health,” his mother had often said to him, “if one’s soul is sick?”

iGod, I believe You gave the vision for this place to my mother. Help me make it become all that You desire.

On the heels of his prayer, he thought of Harrison Carter. Why was the man set against him, against this resort? Was it all because Morgan had refused to sell the land? Surely Carter saw how the resort would benefit Bethlehem Springs. The railroad. Telephone lines and electrical power. All of which would benefit the people
who lived here. Morgan knew he’d find a way to get what he needed, but it would be difficult if the town and county tied up the lands where the railroad needed to come through.

“If I had a hand in making the laws, things would be easier for honest businessmen.”

If I had a hand in making the laws . . .

He stiffened.

If I had a hand in making the laws.

No, that couldn’t be the answer.

And yet . . .

If I had a hand in making the laws.

Bethlehem Springs was gearing up for a mayoral election. From what little he’d heard, there was only one candidate — and not one people were happy about. Morgan was a citizen of the town. He must be eligible to declare for office.

“The new mayor and the county commissioners must be in agreement on these matters.”

What better way to make certain the new mayor supported Morgan’s plans than for Morgan to be the mayor. Still, that was a bit drastic. There had to be a better way. Besides, he had no desire to run for office. God had brought him to Idaho for a different purpose. He didn’t have time to devote to the day-to-day administration of a town like Bethlehem Springs. Governmental bodies were a necessary evil, but not one he need be part of.

And yet . . .

He cast a glance toward the sky. “Father, is this what You’re telling me to do?”